I know, I know - Annie Hall came out in 1977, but in keeping with my belief that everything you need to know about life, you've already learned from movies you watched growing up, I wanted to share a favorite scene.  Woody Allen and his date are stuck in line with a man loudly sharing his profound philosophical insights on what Marshall McLuhan would think about something.  As sex workers, we've all been subjected to hearing blowhards drone on and on about "what it's like to be a sex worker," especially from academics, so seeing this scene made me laugh.

If only life were only like this, indeed.

The other week, I was having an email exchange with a friend about our shared annoyance with "strong" feminists who, if the slightest conflict surfaces, or the smallest perceived act of "sexism" is discovered, act like embarrassing crybabies and demand that women be handled with kid gloves because women are oh-so-fragile.  It just struck me that this issue is perfectly reflected in an exchange from Heathers.

The lead character in this dark comedy, played by Winona Ryder, is having a precocious speech at her parents about how teenagers deserve respect.

To her mother: "All we want is to be treated like human beings, not experimented on like guinea pigs, or patronized like bunny rabbits."

Mom responds: "Treated like human beings?  Is that what you said, little miss voice-of-a-generation?  Just how do you think adults act with other adults?  You think it's all just a game of doubles tennis?  When teenagers complain that they want to be treated like human beings, it's usually because they are being treated like human beings."

When feminists complain that they want women to be treated like equals, it's often in situations where women are being treated like equals, rather than being given delicate guidance so that they are never exposed to anything that may offend or challenge them.  If one argues (overtly or tacitly) that women are entitled to special treatment and protections, you're really saying that females are inherently the weaker sex, and cannot be expected to function in a mixed-gender environment without being coddled.  (A sexist belief which I do not share with feminists, of course.)

Recently, I was baking vegan cupcakes and watching Real Genius.  These are the sorts of awesome things I do with my days now that I no longer waste any time trying to convince sexually frustrated leftists that feminism and sex work can coexist.  (Can they?  Who cares- let's go swimming and drink mojitos!)

The movie got me thinking about the people on the other end of my internet fights.

Real Genius has a character (Kent) who's uptight, unhappy, unattractive, and always putting others down to make himself feel better - a bully with jealousy issue.  He works tirelessly, yet achieves only mediocrity, and he's infuriated to no end that everything goes so well for his rival, Chris. Chris screws around and has fun rather than attending classes, but he's still more intelligent and successful than Kent.

Kent reminded me of a lot of people I've encountered in debates about beauty politics and sex work- they just can't stand the idea that other people are having a good time.  They make life hard on themselves, and then resent anyone who doesn't also struggle tirelessly against self-imposed problems.

In the movie, Kent sabotages Chris's final project so that it blows up and he loses all the time he painstakingly put into it.  But, thanks to the total destruction of his work, he has a breakthrough about an even better way to go about accomplishing his goal.  And Kent is back to his dull existence.

So, remember - when the Kents of the world sabotage you (Prop K, Prop 8, anyone?), may those setbacks be temporary.  Bounce back with stronger plans and better-executed projects.  Think in radically-clever new ways.

We will win- and have more fun in the process.