http://www.feminisnt.com I'm a pornographer, sex worker, atheist, and former "sex-positive feminist" who grew tired of trying to shoehorn my life into a feminist analysis. I have liberated myself from women's liberation, and it feels glorious. I'm now sharing my observations as a politically-minded smut peddler, ethical slut, and staunch skeptic. I despise people who project their insecurities onto others, or force sex workers into only two roles: helpless victims and evil patriarchy-colluders. I love spicy food, vegan lip balm, and the word "pollywog". Wed, 03 Mar 2010 22:54:02 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en "People always bring up the "good old days" of body image, and talk about curvy Vargas girls and how Marilyn Monroe was a size whatever-it-was -- but the Left-wing idea of how healthy those days were is just as much a revisionist pipe-dream as the Right-wing idea of how moral ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2010/quote-the1585-on-beauty-standards-and-romanticizing-the-past/ I've had a lot of smut thrust at me over the years as awful examples of "women being degraded", but none of that has ever truly pissed me off quite like ForTheGirls.com.  It's with that long-standing annoyance that I was disappointed to see that the only porn site to ever really ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2010/whats-so-feminist-about-being-anti-sex-the-2010-feminist-porn-award-nominees-and-the-porn-for-women-niche/ --- I recently got some feedback on my blog that read like an auto-generated essay against porn and sex work, hitting all the key arguments that I've heard a thousand times, just rearranged in a different order. It got me thinking, hasn't anyone made a bingo card about this yet?  Apparently not, ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2010/want-to-play-bingo-with-the-antis/ Today in long-standing annoyances: the left's schizophrenia about religion- namely, which beliefs are chic and which beliefs are deplorable. As a whole, lefties/liberals love to point out that they're better than those normal people and the silly dogmas of the desert religions, but often embrace their own interpretations of eastern and indigenous ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2010/religions-on-sexuality-same-same-but-different-the-dalai-lama-and-buddhism-edition/ I'm often asked if I've read popular books by certain victim feminists and anti-porn activists. "Unless you've read _____, you have no idea what you're talking about!  If only you were exposed to the correct ways of thinking, as I have been, you would understand why porn causes men to rape ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2010/why-i-dont-read-anti-sexporn-books-a-page-from-the-awesome-ist-manifesto/ "What is most shocking to people is not that a man, a ridiculously rich celebrity, cheated on his wife, it's that he had at least 13 mistresses! Two of these women were porn actresses, one of whom, Joslyn James, claims to have had a 3 year love affair with Tiger ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2010/quote-mireille-miller-young-on-the-sex-worker-angle-of-the-tiger-woods-hysteria/ 2009 was good to me.  It was the year I finally started blogging, the year I stopped giving a shit about trying to be a feminist (whatever that means), the year I bought a frosting gun for decorating cupcakes, the year I actively began shooting photos of other people, ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2010/as-gloria-steinem-said-youre-either-a-feminist-or-a-masochist-a-belated-2009-review/ "Male Friendship Is Predicated On Violence and Drunkenness There are no long-term close relationships between women on BSG, and there is only one long-term relationship between two men. [...] It is truly hard to say which gender has it worse in this situation. Is it more awful to be a woman ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2010/quote-annalee-newitz-on-the-sexual-politics-of-battlestar-galactica/ Merry Festivus, everyone!  It's time for the airing of grievances. For those of you just joining us, there's been a storm of controversy lately over whether or not Alexa, a prolific blogger who claims to be a high class escort, is a fake.  (See posts by Monica Shores, Jenny DeMilo, ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/speaking-of-faux-ho-bloggers-what-about-amber-rhea/ I've been contacted countless times by people who want to be sex workers, and I've advised many of them against it.  Why?  Because plenty of these emailers are terrified of being discovered.  If you're already experiencing great concern over potential outings and shame, this is not a job for you ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/the-first-thing-potential-sex-workers-need-to-know/ My trip to New York City was a whirlwind of amazing, and I've barely had time to wash my clothes and read my email before I'm back to the airport tomorrow- although, this time, for a family visit. I knew I was going to visit New York this fall to shoot for ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/nyc-so-long-and-thanks-for-all-the-dicks/ "Straight people are encouraged by culture and society to believe that their sexual impulses are the norm, and therefore when their affairs of the heart and loins go wrong (as they certainly will), when they are flummoxed, distraught and defeated by love, they are forced to believe that it must ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/quote-stephen-fry-on-love-and-sexual-outsiders/ Years ago, I was eating with a friend and a few of his enlightened lefty activist buddies. I was aware that a number of his self-righteous feminist pals had a problem with what I do, so I generally stayed away from them, choosing to socialize with my friend one-on-one, when we'd ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/sex-work-is-work-in-anecdote-form/ "Work traditionally provided by women is always made natural and invisible. Everything from knowing how to care for kids and tend a garden to how to hypnotize with fabric and liquid eyeliner is seen as normal, easy and natural for us women — not hard-earned and precious." - Juliet November, in ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/quote-juliet-november-on-ladyskills/ One of the most commonly asked questions of sex workers is, "But do your parents know?!", generally spoken in a mock-concerned, barely-containing-their-excitement voice, ready to hear about my inner turmoil of how I want nothing more than to be able to make my parents proud of me, yet am burdened ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/daddys-little-capitalist/ "Saw an 'adult gigs' ad for actresses, unrated movie, sexual contact. Interesting stuff. I wrote my inquiry- and I think I'll decline. The premise? It's rape, of course, the only type of sex that mainstream movies care to show explicitly. The man gets caught, justice served- -but it's still rape porn, ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/quote-sabrina-morgan-twittering-on-fantasy-versus-fiction/ I was recently in the Bay Area for two noble purposes: shooting strapon porn and attending the third Arse Elektronika conference.  And, somewhere in-between, accomplishing plenty of eating, drinking, and socializing with many of my favorite nerdverts. On the porn end of things, I got a lot done.  I shot my ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/bay-area-nerdvert-weekend-wrapup/ "We spend most of our lives either seeking awareness or avoiding it, or some combination thereof. That's because there is something terrifying about absolute adherence to moral principals. A person seeking uncompromising moral consistency is uncomfortable all the time, because of threats to that consistency." - Robert Jay Lifton, in an ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/quote-robert-jay-lifton-on-uncomfortable-people/ Reading model applications for Cocksexual.com makes me so happy that it's something I've finally decided to do, as well as glad to be making the kind of porn that I do. In an industry where a model applications generally just ask which holes you'll put stuff in and if you're willing ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/quick-thoughts-on-my-new-project/ In the last few months, I've been thinking a lot about how, at 25, I ought to think a bit more about long-term financial planning.  I already accomplished buying my first condo, which is a great investment, but I'd like to get better at money in general.  Part of it ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/im-adding-another-porn-site-to-my-empire-of-perversions/ "Not everyone can tilt at windmills, and most dancers just want to make their money with as little fanfare and frustration as possible. My activist entreaty has gone from 'shake the system' to 'get educated, get solvent, get out.' I applaud any woman who attempts to right the wrongs of ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/quote-lily-burana-on-sex-work-activism-after-her-own-battle-against-stage-fees/ I've always worked hard to operate an ethical adult business.  I'm not claiming to be perfect, but I do my best.  Which, of course, is why it's so awesome that countless people yell at me for exploiting women, causing children to be raped, destroying relationships, and generally being responsible for ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/somewhat-disjointed-grievances-on-porno-pay-rates-transparency-and-a-pinch-of-boring-labor-politics/ It's a real shame that Diablo Cody hasn't kept her old blog online.  I realize she's a famous Oscar-winner now and has important celebrity encounters and movie openings to blog about, but her earlier work was among my favorite stuff to read when I was new to the adult industry. ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/i-miss-you-stripper-era-diablo-cody/ "Sex workers may be 'in right' on major purchases and thus well-positioned to weather the storm because they typically pay cash for everything – their homes, cars and household goods. Having no W-2, 1099 gig, sex workers weren't invited to the easy-credit orgy of the last five years. 'My income ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/quote-juliana-piccillo-on-sex-workers-and-the-recession/ "Some feminists say that sexual female submission, or violent sex, is never okay. Clearly as someone who both seeks and gives such, I don't agree. It's also been suggested that my social conditioning makes me equate violence and sex. 'Spose that's possible, but I don't like arguments that assume I ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/quote-calico-on-boundaries-kink-and-feminism/ More than the occasional misogynistic viewers, exorbitant credit card processing fees, and normal people thinking I'm going to molest their children, I get annoyed by those who treat me as though my work could be done by a retarded monkey.  After all, if I possessed any skills, ambitions, or intelligence, ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/newsflash-running-a-successful-business-actually-takes-time-and-effort/ If you follow any indie pornographer blog, you'll find at least one rant about douchebaggy viewers demanding the world of them for a small subscription fee.  This is mine, in response to a post I deleted from the message board in the members area of FurryGirl.com.  (Because it's my house, folks- ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/webgirl-rant-captain-dumbass-versus-the-billionaire-bimbo/ "The fact that women like to knock a few back is not a pro-feminism statement. Sure, it may be a result of feminism, but not, in itself, a feminist act. (Personally, I don't drink to fight sexism. I drink to forget about it.) However, making the argument that now that ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/quote-tracie-egan-on-booze-and-aunt-tomming/ Sex workers are one of the world's most spoken-on-behalf-of groups, which goes hand-in-hand with us being among the most reviled groups. So many people feel the right to speak on behalf of me and my experiences- generally the people furthest removed from my life and the least inclined to actually ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/things-ive-gained-from-being-a-sex-worker-an-anti-paternalistic-perspective/ The other night, I received an email from a former neighbor.  I had lived next to his family in the Seattle suburbs for two years, and I shot plenty of porn in my rental house during that time.  His email was polite, complimentary of my work and blog, and respectful ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/finding-someone-you-know-naked-on-the-internet-a-tale-of-two-emailers/ "A woman I knew at college — an antiviolence activist, righteous and right-on — used to say, "Testosterone is gasoline, porn the match." I disagree. Testosterone is gasoline — which isn't necessarily a bad thing (gas makes things go) — but sexual frustration is the match. I'm not suggesting that this ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/quote-dan-savage-on-george-sodini-and-sexual-frustration/ In the next few, I plan to visit New York for Audacia Ray and David Henry Sterry's new reading series, Sex Worker Literati.  In her blog post after the event, Audacia wrote, The evening also made me reflect on an annoying phrase that gets thrown at sex worker activists: “the happy hooker ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/sex-worker-literati-and-gradations-of-grievances/ I recently popped my sex worker blogger cherry when I came across a feminist blog post attacking me.  Since the author of the post didn't feel the need to link to me - or even mention my pseudonym - so that her readers might be able to see what I ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/hell-hath-no-fury-like-a-womans-scorn-for-women/ "Well, fuck you. Fuck you, who think feminism began with Germaine Greer and ended with Candace Bushnell. Fuck you, who think kissing a girl while tiddly is real transgression. Fuck you, who ridicule India Knight for dieting then go on television offering up your tits on a plate. Fuck you, ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/quote-belle-de-jour-on-why-shes-not-a-feminist/ After falling in love with free-spirited hookers from the gold rush era, I decided that porno was likely my path into the sex industry.  When I turned 18, I sought out companies that might hire me. While searching online, I came across a guy-with-camera site where the amateur models were "normal ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/why-i-dont-work-in-the-mainstream-porn-industry/ Recently, I was baking vegan cupcakes and watching Real Genius.  These are the sorts of awesome things I do with my days now that I no longer waste any time trying to convince sexually frustrated leftists that feminism and sex work can coexist.  (Can they?  Who cares- let's go swimming ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/everything-you-need-to-know-about-life-youve-already-learned-from-80s-movies/ "It reminds me of the exasperation I used to feel, years ago, when one could be accused of regarding others as "sex objects." Well, one can only really be a proper "subject" to oneself. A sentence that begins with I will be highly solipsistic if it ends only with me, ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/quote-christopher-hitchens-on-objectification/ Sex workers and sluts are catnip for those who fancy themselves amateur psychologists.  "What awful things happened to her to make her turn out like that?", they wonder, disgustedly and excitedly, scratching their heads and seeking to unravel what titillating damage has been inflicted upon the presumed victim.  Apparently, one ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/degrading-violent-desires/ "The past has plenty to teach us, but I don't think it should be allowed to detain us against our will." -- Pat Condell, in Why debate dogma? on youtube.com http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/quote-pan-condell-on-history-beliefs/ Organizer Scarlot Harlot during a screening. I thought she looked lovely in this light. At the beginning of June, I spent 10 days in the Bay Area.  I was in town primarily for the 2009 Sex Worker Film Festival, but I also had a chance to go to shoot photos of ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/sex-worker-fest-2009-wrap-up/ "One of the things that gives the adult entertainment business so much power over the "real" world is that it is fearless. It utters the unutterable and speaks what has been left unspoken. It names names. It avoids euphemism. It searches for frank language, and it shines light where others ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/quote-darklady-on-the-adult-industry/ The Government vs. Erotica: The Siege of Adam & Eve by Philip D Harvey Published in 2001 ★★★☆ Recommended: For more serious sexuality bookworms In an alternate world, Phil Harvey would be a better-known first amendment crusader. Far from the bombastic, abrasive persona of Larry Flynt, Harvey is an adult retailer who seems like ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/review-the-government-vs-erotica/ I'll be in the Bay Area next week for the San Francisco Sex Worker Festival. Here's a summary of scheduled events, make sure to check the web site for full details. * Saturday, May 30: Radar Spectacle Benefit with Michelle Tea and more * Sunday, May 31: BelleBazaar: An Orgy of ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/san-francisco-sex-worker-festival-2009/ Like many loudmouth sluts, I am contacted by people who want to get quotes from me for their school newspaper, class assignment, or an article they're hoping to have published. The following is a guide mostly for college kids, but it also applies to freelancers and writers from small ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/how-to-not-suck-at-interviewing-me/ To prepare for a British friend coming to visit Seattle, I picked up "Weird and Wacky Washington Places" from the library to see if there's anything neat I hadn't heard of. What's weird and wacky? A banana museum, the Space Needle, Slug Fest, the Jimi Hendrix statue, and ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/weird-and-wacky/ On a 2008 episode of the Point of Inquiry podcast, civil rights attorney Edward Tabash touched on an issue that, to me, resonated well beyond beyond the Prop 8 topic he was discussing. If people with a religious motive can appeal to bogus junk science to get around the church-state issue, ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/beware-of-junk-science/ Conference organizer Match and I at the porn and brownies party. We're 2 of only 4 people at the conference of 166 who don't call ourselves feminists. Photo by Diva. Since the weekend in DC, I've been decompressing in a friend's place in Manhattan, objectifying his body and eating ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/sex-20-roundup-militant-awesome-ism/ Deep in the Furry Girl archives, I have a scanned bit of my early writing. Judging from the handwriting and poor spelling, I would place this as having been written at age 6 or 7 at most, reflecting on life when I was about four years old. http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/i-was-a-feminist-vigilante-when-i-was-four/ Ah, "objectification", one of those buzzwords - like "empowerment" - that I've heard so many times, it just sounds like gibberish. And really, I'm not sure if I ever knew what it was supposed to mean in the first place. This topic is one of my major headdesk issues with ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/frequently-addressed-accusation-porn-objectifies-women-as-sex-objects/ Feminism is the shitty relationship you had in your early 20s. The lover who was charismatic and creative and gave great handjobs, even though, in moments of clarity, you could see that the two of you had a very real potential for detesting one another some day. She was dodging ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/feminism-is-the-shitty-relationship-you-had-in-your-early-20s/ When I was pondering what to name my blog, I devoted several days of intense shower-thinking to the matter before settling on "Feminisnt". To me, if a feminIST means one who is a proponent of feminism, a feminISNT is one who is not, without necessarily being anti-feminist. Huzzah! ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/will-the-real-feminisnt-please-stand-up/ How did you get into porn? When I was 17, I read a book called "Good Time Girls of the Alaska-Yukon Gold Rush" by Lael Morgan, and was fascinated by the strong, feisty, independent women who left behind comfortable lives and families to become sex workers in the harsh north. ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/biography-of-a-pornographic-polemic/ For a long time, I resisted starting a blog. I don't want to be another node in the pink ghetto who writes my take on the story of the week in between tales of getting fucked and the latest free photo galleries from porn sites I jack off to. ... http://www.feminisnt.com/2009/introduction-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-the-non/