by Furry Girl

01.01.11

Something happened at the end of 2010.  I finally became Andy Warhol.

"Don't pay any attention to what they write about you.  Just measure it in inches." -- Andy Warhol

Just kidding.  I don't think I'm that famous.  (And unlike him, not one feminist has actually tried to murder me yet.)

But, I've finally hit that point - sparked by a frothy mixture of more people talking about me, and more letting go of keeping up with haters - where I'm not even trying to read everything people say about me any more.  Google Alerts for my name and my blog are only glanced at, not read in their entirety, and certainly not used as motivation to jump into fights with people on the internet about whether or not I am an asshole.  (I already know I'm an asshole.  I just happen to be an asshole who's correct most of the time, like all the best villains of fiction.)

Haters are so funny.  I'll never get over the hilarity of how verbose and devoted people get when obsessively, repeatedly explaining to me how "boring" or "unimportant" they find me, and I've attracted heaps of those detractors-cum-fans in the last six weeks between two popularity spikes.  (Although, an all-time favorite insult was from two or three years ago, when a Republican pornographer launched her triumphant fuck-you at me on a forum.  She revealed that she found me so extremely boring that she even wrote a whole blog entry about how boring I am.  Yeah, uh... you sure showed me!)  It's like being in kingergarten and knowing who secretly likes you based on who bothers to throw dirt at you, except now, the dirtiest dirt to be thrown is accusations of having bored the hater.  Let the record reflect that I'm not the one who's hounding my political opposites, following them around the internet in the excited hopes that maybe they'll pay attention to me.  I stay in my own virtual house for the most part - something of an internet cat lady shut-in, I suppose.  I hardly even comment on my friends' blogs (sorry!), let alone spend my life seeking out blogs of strangers I can dislike so I can self-righteously lecture them about exactly why I dislike them.  What a bizarre and neurotic thing to do!

Those two popularity spikes I mentioned were my pantless TSA protest (almost half a million views on the video!) and my Assange rape skepticism post (mostly wigged out about by feminists).

No one whose opinion I care about has attacked me, but I did earn praise from three people I admire.  Penn Jillette called me a hero on Twitter for my TSA protest, Dan Savage quoted my thoughts on rape in a post titled "What She Said,", and Laura Agustín commented in support of my rape piece.  I'm going to cherry pick and say I got all the external validation I could want between those three.  And, of course, there was a torrent of people commenting all around the web about how I'm a monster who's basically responsible for everything bad that's ever happened to anyone.  It's pretty rad that I somehow manage to simultaneously be the most insignificant yawn-fest people have ever deigned to notice, and also powerful enough to be personally responsible for stuff like "rape culture" and terrorist airplane hijackings.  I'm an enigma like that.

A couple of months ago, I received an unsolicited email from a literary agent asking me if I had a book proposal she could check out.  Seeing as how getting my shit together and writing a sample chapter and proper proposal was already on my "things to do in the near-ish future" list, it was very flattering to have someone express interest without me even trying.  And, maybe it will go no where and no publisher will want to print anything I say - I'm not going to get over-excited.  (I have a major loathing of how commonly people brag about how they're "writing a book," like just saying it out loud means you're halfway to winning a Nobel Prize.  Ain't nothing special about writing a book, kids - you don't get any bragging rights until all those words are, you know, being purchased in stores in book format.)  Even with that cynicism in mind, I'm flattered by the interest.  I wonder, snidely, how often literary agents track down blog comment trolls to say things like, "Your scathing paragraph of how [so-and-so] is ugly and stupid was absolutely brilliant!  Please send me a book proposal and sample chapter as soon as you have one.  You have a unique voice!"

(Seriously - has anyone ever gotten a book deal based on their "work" as a commenter on blogs?  Has anyone ever parlayed posting comments on other people's web sites into anything substantive or memorable?)





8 Comments

  1. Don't get screwed by publishers - fight for ownership of your works and for CC licensing. A friend of mine got published in hardcover, and then got screwed by the publisher who magically ate up any residual money she could have earned with "promotion costs" for promotion that they never actually did, and then reneged on her paperback run because they felt it wasn't worth her time, with no recourse for her to force them to hold up their end of the deal. All she ended up with was a $20k advance, and no rights to republish her book for years in any form. She gets calls from her publisher's lawyers any time she tries to post an excerpt from her own book longer than one sentence.

    Comment by Mike Caprio — January 1, 2011 @ 8:36 pm

  2. Your post on the Assange rape allegations was bulls-eye on point. I'm still astounded by how easily some on the "left" were so easily distracted from the known ACTIONS of the US in pursuit of policies detrimental to the sovereignty of other nations by ALLEGATIONS (magnificently timed) against the man whose organization helped bring those predations to light.

    Comment by Coldtype — January 2, 2011 @ 7:01 am

  3. (I have a major loathing of how commonly people brag about how they're "writing a book," like just saying it out loud means you're halfway to winning a Nobel Prize. Ain't nothing special about writing a book, kids - you don't get any bragging rights until all those words are, you know, being purchased in stores in book format.)

    Hahaha, FG, I love you. And FWIW, I would so buy your book.

    Comment by Wendy Blackheart — January 2, 2011 @ 8:04 am

  4. From what I've seen in your blog, your work is very much publishable, Furry Girl. Although I do have a couple of published books, they are technical-scientific, which is a totally different ballgame + market; but what I hear is that such proposals do happen. Of course nothing is guaranteed, and this may end up being nothing. Still... Why not give it a try? A lot of your material here barely needs any rewriting to be ready for print. Like #2 above, I certainly would buy your book.

    I completely agree with your attitude on haters, by the way. As you point out, by the very fact of writing about how boring you are they show that you aren't. In fact, what they are telling you is how afraid they are that you may end up having an impact and changing things they don't want to see changed. As for those who do think you are the Antichrist's very daughter, released a little earlier to pave the way ("Quantus tremor est futurus...")... well, they're the ones who also have written to Dan Savage to prove that his It Gets Better project -- a project about which I would have thought it impossible to say anything bad -- is also a catastrophe for humankind, or then the brainchild of an uncaring, attention-craving deranged mind carrying out the Secret Gay Agenda... so their capacity for judgment can be, to put it mildly, challenged.

    Carry on! :-)

    Comment by Asehpe — January 2, 2011 @ 9:03 am

  5. Posts like this are one of the reasons that your blog is one of the very few I read and even fewer I link to regularly. My sincere good wishes on the book deal! :-)

    Comment by Maggie McNeill — January 2, 2011 @ 12:50 pm

  6. Hey, Furrygirl, I think your blog is awesome and I would totally buy your book! Also, a while ago I was thinking, hey, I bet this girl reads interesting books, so I checked out your Amazon wishlist and ILL-ed a bunch of books I saw there (you know, 'cause I'm poor). So, thanks for turning me on to some cool reads.

    Oh, and even if this book offer doesn't go anywhere, you'll have put together some good material. And then, if YOU want to solicit publishers, you'll be all set and ready to go.

    Comment by Timory — January 2, 2011 @ 6:53 pm

  7. Thank you for the kind words, everyone!

    I was planning to work on a book proposal soon-ish anyway, so getting the unsolicited email from an agent was just a nice prodding reminding me that I should get on it.

    Mike: I already know a first-time nonfiction author like me wouldn't get anything near $20,000 for a book, let alone that much as an advance. But yeah, I'm a clever girl, I'd go over any contracts with a lawyer.

    Comment by Furry Girl — January 2, 2011 @ 11:56 pm

  8. Hello

    It is obvious that you are intelligent. And you write quite well — how about a novel?

    Comment by niku — January 23, 2011 @ 7:16 am

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