by Furry Girl


I'm often asked if I've read popular books by certain victim feminists and anti-porn activists.

"Unless you've read _____, you have no idea what you're talking about!  If only you were exposed to the correct ways of thinking, as I have been, you would understand why porn causes men to rape their children, why millions of women die from anorexia because of your industry, and why sexuality is a sacred thing not to be sold."

It's true.  I don't read those top-selling books from the liberal literati.  I spend most of my waking hours creating and promoting body-positive porn that features people of all shapes and sizes and genders.  (A cornerstone of my overall ethic is my deep loathing of people who prefer to whine about what other people are doing rather than get off their asses and actively create change.)

Sorry to break it to the antis - who have new books to sell and speaking engagements to get paid for - the arguments against sexual expression and sex work haven't changed in the last hundred years.  Sure, a lot of people make a good living convincing women of "new" and convoluted ways in which they ought to feel oppressed, but it's all the same old trope, whether it's coming from people who identify as radical feminists or the Concerned Women for America.  Same logic, same propensity to make up fake statistics, same underlying misogyny, same fear of sluts busting lose and ruining it for all the good girls.  I can pretty much guarantee that the "latest" anti-porn/sex worker thoughts from such-and-such prominent author is not going to bring up anything new we haven't heard before.  (There, I just saved you $19.99!)

Of course, I've been told that even if I disagree with an author's anti-sexuality stance, they still have a lot of other valuable insights on other areas that I could probably benefit from pondering.  It's not as though I seek to insulate myself from the opinions of anyone who disagrees with me, but it's hard to take some people seriously in spite of monumental failures in large areas of their philosophy.  When an author's whole schick is about supposedly advancing women's liberation, and they're anti-sex (worker), to me, that pretty much nullifies everything else they have to say about the topic of women (and the liberation thereof).  It's like being asked to consider the analysis of a brilliant "anti-racist" who, incidentally, just so happens to really hate Asians.  So, no, I don't have a lot of time on hand to concern myself with with philosophies of hypocrites, even if there is some facet of their unifying theory of the world that I could take genuine interest in.

It's not that I outright refuse to ever read these books, but I only have so many hours in my day.

I'm too busy adding positive contributions to the sexual landscape to read about why women should feel depressed and victimized every time they walk by an advertisement with a skinny woman on it.  I'm too busy being a woman who operates my own small business to cry about not having huge boobs like the celebrities who are supposedly my models of attractiveness.  I'm too busy making hot smut that rejects many heteronormative porn stereotypes to sit around reading about ways in which men must be nefariously shaping my definition of "sexy".  (Women can't make up our own minds!  We're secretly controlled by the Illuminati, err, I mean- The Patriarchy!)  I get so occupied trying, via my porn, to tacitly assure everyone that they are capable of great sexiness, that I just don't have any energy left to manufacture "injustices" and argue that women should feel oppressed by them.  Sometimes, I'm even so busy being excited about hiring amazing sex worker's rights activists to make porn for my company that I don't have time to read a single tome by Wendy Shalit, Naomi Wolf, or Ariel Levy.

I've been accused of being just another American anti-intellectual when I explain this to people.  And to such critics, I want to reply with of a piece of contemporary philosophy that even a stupid little twit like me can wrap my head around:


It's time to put down your books written by boring upper-class white ladies and just focus on being awesome.


  1. Hm. You said you were blogging in response to a tweet. Was that from me? If it was, you certainly misunderstood my question about whether or not you'd read the Wolf book. I just happen to be reading it now and found it relevant to your comment. You said "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Same goes for feeling insecure." And, I agree. I also agree, though, that simply existing in this society makes it very, very, very difficult to avoid the pressures. It's not impossible. However, I would suggest your passionate response is related to the pressure most women feel to participate (or feel guilty when we don't). Of course, I have no idea what goes on in your head beyond what you've shown here.

    In any case, I certainly wasn't implying you ought to read it or need to read it. Not even close.

    One of the most interesting things about this blog post is that you and I have so much more in common than I think you assumed... That is, the point I was going to make (if you'd told me if you'd read the book or not) was that I figured out why the body-image crap pisses me off so much. I happen to be *obsessed* with the fact that almost all the vulvas out there are bald—they were *not* that way when I was last single. The reason it angers me so much is because I don't play into it like I "should." And the point I would have made to you about my feelings about porn if you had continued the tweeting discussion had nothing to do with you, what you should read or shouldn't read, or anything even remotely connected with you beyond the fact that I think we have things in common.

    So, it's an interesting blog post. And I'm sorry you get bothered by people who think you should do or read x or y or z whatever. I happen to be the same way about mass media events. I've never seen Lady Gaga, for example. I didn't see one single image from Haiti when the earthquake first hit. We all have to make choices about what we do with our time. Judging each other harshly when we make different choices is a total waste of time in my book.

    Anyway, keep on with the good work. Not all feminists are assholes, by the way. :-)

    the sexually submissive feminist

    Comment by TsaphanBabe — February 20, 2010 @ 7:55 pm

  2. "A cornerstone of my overall ethic is my deep loathing of people who prefer to whine about what other people are doing rather than get off their asses and actively create change"

    Oh. Fuck. Yes.

    Comment by Sequoia — February 20, 2010 @ 8:05 pm

  3. I love you.

    Comment by Shannon Williams — May 6, 2010 @ 1:16 pm

  4. I like your style and i feel the same way.

    Comment by Elize Donster — September 17, 2010 @ 4:28 am

  5. I can't find it now, but I distinctly remember an Amazon review of Wendy Shalit's "A Return to Modesty" that said, "Wendy Shalit went to my college. Unfortunately, she didn't learn anything there."

    (Actually, she did, and that's kind of the problem—her entire career was launched when she got to our college and freaked out to discover the bathrooms were usually coed.)

    Comment by Pat — May 12, 2011 @ 9:21 am

  6. Thanks for the comments!

    Nice one on Shalit, Pat.

    Comment by Furry Girl — May 19, 2011 @ 7:29 pm

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