Daddy's little capitalist

by Furry Girl

10.22.09

One of the most commonly asked questions of sex workers is, "But do your parents know?!", generally spoken in a mock-concerned, barely-containing-their-excitement voice, ready to hear about my inner turmoil of how I want nothing more than to be able to make my parents proud of me, yet am burdened with the shame of being a fallen woman.

When I started out, I wasn't sure how my father would react when he eventually found out about the porn thing, and I had no immediate plans to tell him.  He has post-it notes on his coffee table to help him figure out how to work his television remote control, so I wasn't worried that my luddite dad was going to stumble across my web site.

A year or two in, a teenaged cousin found my web site.  I'm not sure how this worked in his head, but he apparently decided that there was more satisfaction to be had in tattling on me to the family than there was in not telling the family a story that started out, "I was looking at porn, and..."

So, I got The Call from my father.

"Is this true- that you're naked on some kind of internet sites?"

He sounded a touch angry, but not ragingly so.  I considered whether I should just lie.  I could get away with lying because he had no means of disproving me.

"Yes, it's true."

There was a pause on his end.  Sure, my father always had Playboys not-so-well-hidden around the house, but the idea of men jerking off to his own daughter might be a very different issue.

(It's an interesting test of how screwed people are about sex- the way they react to the idea that I get naked for money.  In general, something I find fascinating about being a sex worker is the way so many people project all their fears, insecurities, and neuroses on me and criticize me for their own issues.  If a person tells me how degrading and disgusting my job is, it's because they view their own sexuality with revulsion.  And this goes for misogynist men as well as the liberal feminists whose eyes - and mouths - shoot jealous hate-daggers at any woman more attractive than them.)

My father posed his next question: "Are you making money doing this?"

"Yes.  People pay a subscription fee every month to see new photos."

He exhaled a massive sigh of relief into the phone. "Oh, THANK GOD, I thought you were doing it for FREE!  Never do that for free."

We both sort of awkwardly laughed about the whole thing.

Later, he let me shoot porn in his beautifully-decorated living room.  Here's a favorite photo of myself from that day, and the one I use on my business card:

daddyscapitalist

(I was prompted to put this story in writing by the Coming Out post on $pread's blog.)





12 Comments »

  1. I honestly don't know whether my father would have the same thing as yours did. I bet it was a relief for him to actually say he is OK with it, I would have been scared shitless.

    I'm getting into the Panty selling business, and I hope my father doesn't find out. We'll see what happens.

    Comment by Miranda — October 22, 2009 @ 4:51 pm

  2. Great post. If you're comfortable with it, then I don't see what the problem could possibly be. If someone else has a problem with it, then it's their problem, not yours.

    Good luck to you.

    Comment by Tonya Thomas — October 22, 2009 @ 4:52 pm

  3. It would be difficult for a parent to feel too badly about a daughter who is smart enough to capitalize and have ownership of her sexual power. I had a similar experience when confronted by my parents about my porn. Like you, I owned up to it and explained it as an informed choice. I think that had I acted guilty about it, they would have had a more negative reaction. Instead they just realized I was an adult and that I was going to be okay.

    Comment by May Ling Su — October 22, 2009 @ 5:42 pm

  4. Part of me cheers and celebrates. Part of me is also saddened by the "never do that for free" mentality. I mean, yes, I do porn/take naked pictures and phone sex and beat people up for money, and I enjoy all of that. I also enjoy doing all of the above for free (albeit for a different a audience usually). I think that sometimes the idea "it's ok that you're making money off it, but god forbid you do this sexual stuff just cause you enjoy it" is harmful as well.

    Regardless, I'm glad he wasn't angry.

    Comment by Essin' Em — October 22, 2009 @ 9:20 pm

  5. Essin Em: to clarify, his issue wasn't one of "it's wrong to sexually express oneself without getting paid", but one of wondering if some moron boyfriend or porn company was profiting off my image.

    Comment by Furry Girl — October 22, 2009 @ 9:36 pm

  6. Good for you. I'm glad your father was reasonably accepting of your chosen profession. Most, I suspect, would not be.

    Comment by Britney Bennett — October 23, 2009 @ 8:35 am

  7. Haha! I laughed out loud when I read "Oh, THANK GOD, I thought you were doing it for FREE! Never do that for free.". Awesome story.

    Enjoying your blog by the way, it's funny because I'm a hardcore feminist yet I agree with one hell of a lot you say. Keep up the awesome.

    Comment by JNgaio — January 2, 2010 @ 4:58 am

  8. Hilarious! I admire you and I'm a big fan of your Veg Porn site eventho' I'm a hardcore (anarcha-)feminist ;P Keep up the good work sister!

    Comment by Sama — August 9, 2010 @ 5:22 am

  9. I laughed. Then I went upstairs and told my girlfriend, who also laughed.

    Comment by Rystefn — August 16, 2010 @ 7:55 pm

  10. Comment by Trackbacks — February 5, 2012 @ 1:41 am

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Comment policy for Feminisnt: I do not publish blatant insults and trolling. You must use a name/handle other than anonymous or asdf because I am tired of giving space to detractors who are too lazy to pick a fake handle and too scared to use a real one. I no longer publish comments bitching at me about how feminism is the greatest thing ever. And I may not publish your comment if I have already addressed that specific issue several times already. Read my responses to other comments before asking a new question. Finally, if your comment hinges on an obvious logical fallacy, I might not publish that, either, except to make fun of you. All new commentors have their first comment held for moderation. Commenting on my blog and taking up space on my server is a privilege, not a right.

Furry Girl: a good time not yet had by all.

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