by Furry Girl

05.13.09

How did you get into sex work?
When I was 17, I read a book called Good Time Girls of the Alaska-Yukon Gold Rush by Lael Morgan, and was fascinated by the strong, feisty, independent women who left behind comfortable lives and families to become sex workers in the harsh north.  I pondered my options for joining Team Ho, and decided to give porn a try once I hit 18.  I did my first day shoot in LA in May of 2002 for a big online porn company, where the creepy, fumbly photographer and I cranked out 20 solo photosets of me in various outfits, looking increasingly tired/bored as the day wore on.  I was paid $750, and the porn site paid the photographer $1250.  I realized I was doing it wrong, and researched starting my own company.  I launched my first site in January of 2003 with a startup cost of a few thousand dollars.  I now operate four membership porn sites, three of which are comprised mainly of other performers/models, and a small specialty store selling vegan sex products.  I don't make piles of easy money the way many people assume I do, but I love calling all the shots and not having to work for anyone else.

So, uh... what kind of sex worker are you?  Are you a hooker?  Why not?
I work primarily in indie porn, and also do private web cam shows, which is like being a work-from-home peep show performer.  I've also dabbled in a little bit of pro-domming/fetish work in person, but that's rare.  Since 2002, I have been involved in things where money has exchanged hands, involved all genders, and orifices have been penetrated in every configuration, but I have never actually had a man pay me to put his penis in me.  I find that funny.  I am not at all morally opposed to prostitution, I just doubt it's for me.  Never say never, though.

You were obviously raped or molested as a kid, right?
No, but thanks for trying to use that as a means to discredit me.  It's very "right on" of you to use accusations of surviving sexual violence to make fun of women and deny them a right to make decisions and express themselves.

What's your educational background?
I have a general disdain for the theory class.  I barely completed junior high, and I use the term "completed" only in the sense that they allowed me register for high school, where I soon stopped showing up all together.  Before totally dropping out, I started out as an overachiever kid with killer standardized test scores and dweeby extracurriculars like the Science Olympiads.  Then, I had the important epiphany that school was optional, and that there were much more engaging uses of my time and energies.  Dropping out of school is, by far, one of the best decisions of my life.

What are your politics?
I am an antiauthoritarian pragmatist who has a low tolerance for pretension, bullshit, and asshattery.  I pick and choose the best bits of many philosophies like a cheapskate assembling a full meal from cocktail garnishes and condiment packets.  I am an atheist with an equal-opportunity distaste for all religions, since every single religion is anti-sex, anti-woman, anti-queer, anti-critical thinking, and anti-science.  I rejects all forms of superstition and faith-based "medicine," from communion to homeopathy.  I am also vegan, because I don't believe in exploiting and killing others for my temporary amusement, including animals.

Why would you NOT want call yourself a feminist?  Barring being a feminist, the only option left is that you must be a misogynist.
I don't call myself a suffragette, either, but that doesn't mean I am against women being allowed to vote.  I consider myself very much anti-sexist and pro-equality, because sexism is still a problem in my society.  However, oppressive attitudes based on gender and sexuality are frequently perpetuated by people who call themselves feminists, and anti-male sexism (perpetuated by feminists in particular) is on the rise.

What could you possibly have against feminism?  It's the bestest thing since rainbow kitten cupcakes!
For starters: "feminism" doesn't have anything close to a singular meaning, so you can't even discuss it without a hundred qualifiers and caveats; the feminist pendulum in the West has run its course and too often turns into pointless misandry; feminism used to be about women's right to be more than just barefoot and pregnant, and now it fights for the "right" of women to be barefoot and pregnant and be given a ton of government and corporate handouts for churning out babies; feminism is commonly embraced by people whose underlying beliefs are that women are stupid, feeble creatures who need to be controlled and saved; feminism these days focuses way too much on imaginary first-world problems like women who choose to feel badly about themselves because they think they're not pretty enough; some feminist leaders are obsessed with fanning and exploiting insecurities in women in order to indoctrinate them to their style of victim feminism, rather than being positive and helping women see that they can be strong and powerful.  Last but not least: it's REALLY FUCKING DIFFICULT to spend your entire life being picked on by girls and women for various reasons, then swallow the idea that women are your true sisters and that men are the cruel enemy that oppresses you.  Bitches be crazy, yo.

What do you mean when you use the terms "feminist" and "feminism"?
Except when noted, I'm referring to the feminisms of Western, industrialized nations - the sort spouted by shrill, irritating people with too much time on their hands and a bizarre desire to feel oppressed by everything.  I know that not all feminists are anti-sex crusaders and/or feeble-minded hysterics, but those rare exceptions don't disprove that the majority of feminist-identified people are oftentimes working against the things I believe in, not for them.

Are you a mean and spiteful person?
Only some of the time.  I come across more abrasive online than I am as an overall person because I don't create heaps of "filler content" for my "online persona" the way other "internet personalities" consciously do while building their brand.  I don't have the time or interest to create pointless fluff to try and make myself seem relatable.

I'm a journalist/student/blogger/aspiring author, can I interview you?
Maybe.  I hate doing interviews in general because so many people usually only want me to talk about pointless navel-gazing bullshit like "can sex work be empowering?"  Please read my post for writers and students before contacting me.

Here's a link I found to a feminist blog post that's anti-sex work, will you come jump into the comments?
I get a lot of people sending me links to anti-sex work blog posts, urging me to go and set everyone straight.  Sorry, I've wasted enough of my life debating with random internet users on their own tiny blogs and forums.  It bores me to tears now.  I fully welcome you to jump in and fight with them if you like, though.

[Last updated September 2011.]





71 Comments

  1. Brava!

    As a volunteer for San Francisco Sex Information I especially appreciate your insight and opinions.

    Keep up the good work and I will check in on your blog from time to time.

    -D

    Comment by David — February 27, 2010 @ 11:53 am

  2. As someone who has pissed of a few feminists in my day, I thouroughly enjoy this blog. Your writing kicks ass. It's sooo refreshing, what a treat!

    Comment by Nancy Couch — March 10, 2010 @ 6:58 pm

  3. I meant "pissed off" oopsies

    Comment by Nancy Couch — March 10, 2010 @ 6:59 pm

  4. Love this so far. Have dipped toe into the world of sex work, and am kind of exploring my irrational discomfort with it. Can't wait to read more!

    Comment by Becca — March 12, 2010 @ 1:47 pm

  5. You are awesome.

    Comment by Nio — March 12, 2010 @ 3:01 pm

  6. I fucking love you!

    Well, maybe that's a teeny tiny bit too intense, but you are awesome. I couldn't have come up with a better description of my own politics if I tried! Love what you have to say about the twats (note: insult chosen with purpose) involved in the current feminist movements of first world nations. I tried so hard for years and years to be a feminist, because the alternative wasn't really my bag. However, I came to precisely the same conclusion you have a few years ago, and I haven't looked back!

    Just wanted to let you know that I came across this blog via Belle de Jour yesterday and I've read almost every entry you've posted here already. It's so neat to come across people who are similar enough to me that I don't feel totally alienated by them. I checked out a couple of your sites, and I think you just seem like an interesting, kickass woman. Thanks for making my world a bit brighter and less lonely. :)

    --Misty Dawn

    Comment by Misty Dawn — March 25, 2010 @ 2:33 pm

  7. I applaud all that you have said here. Wonderful to see other empowered, sexually expressive women speaking about what I had no venue to vent so many years ago. I was also in the sex industry. I used to be stripper and had many "concerned" individuals from time to time try to save me or point me to do something more worthwhile. I didn't have a computer or the internet to vent all of these frustrations and find like-minded individuals, who were not hung up on moralistic BS.

    I had one "friend" call me early one morning, even tho' I explained that I worked at nite, to question me about my marriage and inquire how my husband could possibly be alright with his wife doing what I did. We were sleeping comfortably, so apparently the only one worried about it was her. I had still another friend ask me if I thought Jesus would want me to dance. I always replied the same way, "Is Jesus paying my rent?" And they think there's something wrong with us?!

    Comment by gothceltgirl — April 14, 2010 @ 1:41 pm

  8. Like Misty Dawn, I came across your site via BdJ and have been consistently reading your posts. I wish voices such as yours were more mainstream, as I am also sick and tired of the lefties who you'd think would be on my side instead treat women as "stupid, feeble creatures who need to be controlled and saved." Yet again, both sides of the political spectrum become bedfellows when it comes to making choices for us. It's also true that too many people are concerned with the "first-worlder problems like women choosing to feel badly about themselves because they think they're not pretty enough, rather than real-world problems in the Global South where women aren't allowed to own property, vote, or have a safe abortion."

    While I don't want to debate a word (I think PC liberals gets so caught up in language that they fail to fight the real issue), I'm curious as to your position on feminism as a whole. Would you call yourself a feminist if it meant all that you described above? Or do others tainting it ruin that word for you? When I call myself a feminist it's in the exact way you describe it, and more besides. But if someone decides I'm not a "Feminist" because of my views, that's their opinion; I don't want their definition of feminism to become truth and mine pushed even more to the sidelines of society.

    I suppose I am asking because the woman who wrote Theorizing the Sexual Child calls herself a feminist yet she and I - and it sounds like you also - have very similar political and social viewpoints. None of this really matters, I suppose. A label won't change what I believe in, even if that label is taken away from me by these "traditional Feminists", and what I believe in and fight for is more important than that anyway. I've just been thinking a lot about it, and reading your work added to that. (Btw, from the description of Erotic Innocence, they don't sound that similar to me. I read Theorizing in a college bookstore where it wasn't $80. But I understand you wanted a different kind of recommendation now, apologies.)

    Comment by lovely_bookcase — April 21, 2010 @ 6:07 am

  9. Never mind, I just read your Introduction - articulate as always - and that pretty much answered my questions, as well as gave me more to think about, as did the great responses. Thanks for your writing!!

    Comment by lovely_bookcase — April 21, 2010 @ 2:05 pm

  10. As for the political part, check out the ALLiance (http://all-left.net). Some are self-professed feminists (deviating from mainstream feminism though) and others aren't (including myself).

    As for the mention of 'proper libertarians' tolerating racism, left-libertarians have argued that libertarianism historically referred to the anti-authoritarian Left, and deviate from the paleo-right-libertarians such as here: http://sheldonfreeassociation.blogspot.com/2010/05/regarding-those-whites-only-lunch.html

    Comment by Anonymous — May 28, 2010 @ 7:08 pm

  11. You have hit the nail on the head there.

    I loved the bit about picking the bits of ideologies since that's my philosophy. Unfortunately it does seem to upset almost everyone at some time or other. If they are prepared to discuss rather than condemn out of hand that is good enough for me but heck, if they can't see past their own dogma that's not my fault is it?

    Comment by Andrew — June 2, 2010 @ 12:32 am

  12. Furry Girl,
    I just realized (well not just realized, but remembered to think after I typed during the times I do not remember to think before I type) that because I am a passionate person and also have a very irreverent smart ass mouth that I wanted to be clear so that I didn't offend you.
    Regarding referring to you as Funny Girl instead of Furry I was doing it in playful jest (as in that some people may think you are weird or crazy for doing what you know in your heart is right)

    so I don't know if there is a word to describe being double sarcastic, or not unsarcastic or whatever, I just wanted to be clear that I totally and completely respect and agree with your decisions to take a stand for what you believe in. Online my comments and statements are often taken wrong or as a passive aggressive way to slander. That was a pretty "heavy" post topic and due to the seriousness I felt I should explain that I am an idiot sometimes and don't realize there are topics any humor thrown in is not appropriate.

    hopefully you didn't take it wrong, keep going strong!!!

    what you are doing is important

    dusty

    Comment by dusty — June 8, 2010 @ 9:47 am

  13. All interesting and sexy stuff! Love the bush by the way! It's been a while since I have since such a fine example as over here in the Uk, too many are shaving them back. I remember my first taste and the hair definately added to the excitement. Made it through the links to the Menstration. This was a bit shocking although during menstration has never been a problem.

    Gorgeous, smart and a sense of humour! Woah!

    You read the book about Alaska... an uncle lived there for a number of years and the saying goes, 'Whats it like trying to find a man in Alaska? - Well, the odds ain't good and even the goods are odd.'

    Great collection of pics as well. Aren't people prude when it comes to naked shots. Shame...but not on us.

    Comment by Toby — August 3, 2010 @ 5:20 am

  14. That's actually a much-recycled phrase about all sorts of places, and a concept I love: The odds are good, but the goods are odd. I think I might have even used that line in a dating profile before.

    Comment by Furry Girl — August 13, 2010 @ 8:53 pm

  15. Refreshing to see your perspective. I have a different lens, however I respect yours, and find it liberating. No cowering behind false status-quo perception mask-filters here! Instead, a direct and honest expression of your own being, offered without fear and no apparent attempt to convince that your perspective is anything more than what it is. I also respect your focus on respectful porn; I've seen way too much porn content that simply supports lowest-common-denominator sexist male-dominated thinking and drops a persons consciousness to a base level when instead (imho) it should be about celebration and joy and embracing the present in whatever way life offers, including very hot sex.

    Comment by kurt — September 29, 2010 @ 11:19 pm

  16. keep kickin' arse.

    Comment by ghost — October 26, 2010 @ 12:34 am

  17. Hi . I think your blog is is extremely thoughtful and yes liberating. I have also made some skeptical videos debunkin Muslims on cosmology and evolution, naturopaths on mis quoting Bill Gates on vaccines etc. If you get the chance to check them out , the link is here:
    http://www.youtube.com/user/skydivephil?feature=mhum
    Chat soon, I hope

    Comment by phil — November 5, 2010 @ 6:09 pm

  18. Fascinating: a lovely woman who doesn't believe in god, or razors. Well, I'm sure you're confident of the existence of razors, even if you don't "believe" in their use. Just teasing: love the site so far, and it's refreshing to see some porn featuring a woman with actual pubic hair, like a fully-grown adult...

    Comment by DaBigHotChocolate — November 25, 2010 @ 1:15 am

  19. Fuck, my first instinct is always to argue with "activists" but i just love this site too much. <3

    Comment by TJ — November 25, 2010 @ 11:18 am

  20. I hate to be a grammar nazi, but since typos always lead to detractors. In your response to "What are your politics?" you wrote "rejects" instead of "reject".

    Check out http://afterthedeadline.com (a WordPress/Automattic company).

    Comment by fakename — November 25, 2010 @ 11:44 pm

  21. I discovered this blog after your TSA stunt, and I'm very disappointed that I didn't know about it sooner! This is witty, entertaining, incisive, badass deconstruction. I actually do call myself a feminist, but I agree with what you said about the distinction between "privileged" feminism and feminism which actually worked to make real, life-saving changes for women in the world. You explained my criticisms so much better than I could myself, so now I'm just going to refer people to your blog when we have this conversation.

    I feel very inspired by you now! Thanks so much for taking the time to write all this, I can't wait to become a regular reader!

    Comment by Ash — November 26, 2010 @ 2:40 am

  22. I applaud you for taking control of your life but can't help but see you as an insecure little girl. Your pornography is a way to combat your average looks (face-wise); a way to get attention from men. Your emphasis on literacy and trying to appear smart through words is the cloak you use to cover up for dropping out of school. I will close by saying that I do love a hairy bush.

    Thanks.

    Merry Chanukah

    Comment by Les — November 26, 2010 @ 10:58 am

  23. I love your au naturale photos. Like many I am sure I learned of you after your truly courageous/hilarious(couragilarious)demonstration at the Seattle Airport. I agree with much of what you had to say about feminism, I'm glad to see not all women buy into that crap, im still recovering from taking womens lit in community college. I strongly believe in womens equality but I think the problem is some women,particularly white middle and upper class women want to have their cake and eat it too. They want equality some of the time but want to maintain some of the advantages of being perceived as delicate flowers. They want no tolerance rules for domestic abuse that get a man thrown in jail just because a woman said he abused her, as if women weren't capable of lying. They say they want women to be liberated sexually but to only act in ways they feel comfortable with. And they of course wanna call us men dogs for just being as horny as god made us(sorry atheists its just a figure of speech) They want to blame individual men as if they built a society that is thousands of years old. They don't generally want to deal with race or class either. They don't want to admit in a society that is more equal sometimes women can be the bad guys, thats kinda cool and kinda sexy but if thats the way its gonna be women don't deserve less punishment for breaking the law or men more. Women who become powerful in business or politics are not heroes simply for being women if they abuse their power in the same way men do. Another thought on feminism. Part of women gaining equal rights is breaking into fields that are traditionally male but part should also be honoring those traditionally female fields. Why are doctors paid so much more and given so much more respect than nurses. 90 percent of the time you spend at the hospital its the nurses caring for you and curing you and its some assistant nurse that takes you your blood and even brings those big shot doctors their tools on a tray. Almost makes me wanna get hit by another car so I Can get some more sponge baths from my favorite nurses lol but seriously thats half the problem. Those traditional female roles like sewing back together clothes canning fruits and vegetables cooking food from scratch those never got the respect that "man stuff got" sadly we are now losing them in a sea of consumerism. Well thats enough bitching from me, I think im gonna spend some uhh quality time with your pictures. My final thought. People who are militant atheists get on my nerves sometimes, almost as much as evangelicals. I have my religion and I am stickin to it. I won't try to make you be mine, I promise. I like that their is a diversity of religions in the world.

    Comment by Beznik — November 28, 2010 @ 2:39 am

  24. Fellow atheist, fellow anti-theist, fellow thinker, fellow Wikileaks supporter, fellow hairy bush lover, fellow auto-didactic learner, and of course, fellow shit-disturber.

    Do whatever the fuck makes you happy; we are eternally non-existent on both sides of the razor blade of time.

    Comment by Eduard-Henri Avril — November 28, 2010 @ 8:42 pm

  25. I have to say how absolutely impressed I am. As I have progressed through my life and come to at least a semi-understand of what women have been through, I have learned to appreciate them so much more. Feminist or feminisnt is your choice as it is with so many women, but your thoughts on the human condition are inspiring, whether man, woman or child. I look forward to future posts and anything you want to share, as a man its a learning experience every time i log in.

    Comment by Mark — December 2, 2010 @ 1:35 am

  26. Sounds like you are probably a kindred spirit with Camille Paglia. ;)

    Comment by Elena — December 3, 2010 @ 4:07 pm

  27. Very cool site you have, here. I got the link to your site from Blag Hag, who is also awesome. Cheers, and best of luck with your endeavours.

    Comment by Kyle — December 16, 2010 @ 7:49 pm

  28. You are my new favorite person in the world! I look forward to spending more time going through your blog.

    While I still embrace the title of "feminist," and I do take issue with compulsory standards of beauty being used to keep women feeling bad about themselves (which would probably fall into the category of "priviledged white people problems," but it's a problem nonetheless), I am increasingly sickened by the direction feminism in general has taken, away from a concern for women's welfare and opportunities and towards the creation of a new standard for women to try and squash themselves into; one of sexually neutral, angry, anti-male sentiment. To project their insecurites onto sex workers and claiming that all sex workers are, by nature of the business, being sexually abused, is plainly inaccurate and a gross insult to those who have actually been victimized.

    Comment by Kat — January 3, 2011 @ 4:57 pm

  29. I am not interested in feminism, or the sex industry, or even pictures (photos are blocked in my browser to save bandwidth). I come here to read you, Furry Girl!

    Comment by niku — January 23, 2011 @ 7:23 am

  30. Until I'm required by law to wear makeup and shave my legs, beauty standards aren't compulsory.

    Besides that, this blog is amazing and fantastic. I appreciate anyone who ditched the mind-numbing experience of public school for becoming a self-made woman.

    Comment by zoltan — January 26, 2011 @ 11:56 pm

  31. Thanks for the continued feedback on this, folks! I should probably update it. I almost forget that even though it's my first or second blog post, it's still my "about me" section.

    Comment by Furry Girl — January 28, 2011 @ 7:14 pm

  32. Well, I for one am delighted to find a good exposition of your philosophie de vie here in your blog. What can I say? Everything here sounds so delightfully true that it's almost as if you were my long-lost twin sister.

    Oh, except that I'm in favor of education. Dropping out of school worked fine for you (probably because you are who you are), but education is not a bad idea. I went through it, came out unscathed and even still quite interested in understanding how the world works and why people are so crazy. :-)

    Comment by Asehpe — February 4, 2011 @ 12:50 pm

  33. Hey I just wanted to say that I came across your airport video today while surfing and that in my opinion you're very hot!

    Comment by Ron — March 1, 2011 @ 1:39 pm

  34. Hey, just discovered your blog. I have to say I think you're rather brilliant.

    I'm your fairly typical left-liberal, white male college student (with more than a few guilt issues). When I saw your blog linked (via the airport video), my initial reaction was 'what, a woman who doesn't call herself a feminist! How awful! I must read her blog and tell her she's wrong'. I admit, I formed some rather unjustified assumptions about you purely based on the title of your blog.

    But then I read through your favourite posts, and the more I read, the more I found myself agreeing and going 'yeah, that's fair' or 'that's a really good point'. And to be honest, I have to say, I think your criticism of modern, mainstream, professional feminism is pretty spot-on. At first I was going 'it's still sad she doesn't call herself a feminist, she's so much more deserving of the title than most of the so-called feminists who are prominent in the media'; but then I read the posts about 'feminism: it's not me, it's you' and 'why do we say 'feminist' when we mean 'ethical'?' and realised that that was a silly argument too. So, now I not only understand why you don't identify as a feminist, I actually admire you for taking that stance; it can't be easy, and I imagine you have to deal with a lot of hate.

    For my part, I've always been interested in feminism, though from a more theoretical than practical point of view I have to admit; I can't say I've ever done anything to improve women's lives myself. (That's another point for you, because that's exactly what this blog is doing, if indirectly.) But while I could agree with some of the feminist analysis or at least see where it was coming from, I'd never been entirely comfortable identifying as a feminist myself; there are too many crazies in the movement, and as a white, heterosexual, cisgendered male who enjoys kinky porn, they see me as The Enemy. I guess, like you, I should stop trying to fit myself in where I'm not wanted, and just be happy with who I am.

    (For what it's worth, I wrote my essay for my feminism course on why the major feminist arguments against pornography and sex work are basically bullshit. I'm sure it wasn't what the lecturer was expecting, but she gave it a good grade, so maybe she agreed more than she let on...)

    Anyway, in short: this blog rocks, you rock, don't let anyone tell you different. I can only hope you one day gets the readership you deserve.

    OK, now to go check out those porn sites you mentioned...

    Comment by Alasdair — March 15, 2011 @ 4:43 pm

  35. Asehpe: I am not anti-eduction. I do not believe that the traditional school system works for all or even most people. It's not structure in a way that teaches one how to learn, but how to process and digest stuff already thrust in front of them. Not going to high school did me a great service because I learned how to teach myself things, rather than waiting for someone to hand me a list of required reading.

    Alasdair: Thank you. It's interesting to hear from folks like you that I "turn", even a little bit, with regards to feminism. I'm not thinking I'll be the great Che Guevara of the whores, and I haven't made that much of a positive, political impact in my life, but I do strive to do more. And, not just for women, but for everyone. I'll always be sympathetic to the most marginalized.

    Comment by Furry Girl — March 21, 2011 @ 9:58 pm

  36. What honest and non-nonsense approach to life. You even recognise Homo sapiens as we actually are. I wonder how you survive in the moralistic world over there . . . ?

    Comment by Guo Du — March 24, 2011 @ 12:33 am

  37. Every woman has her own reason to take up a life that almost everybody sees immoral. But i believe what is immoral is when you let your family die of hunger without doing something you could have done even if everybody despises you.

    Harold

    Comment by Harold — April 21, 2011 @ 12:15 am

  38. God, I was so engrossed reading your post. I mean, you left me open mouthed. Why not really? It's just us women who's responsible for our destiny. I mean, we could do something about feminism, it's by choice..

    Comment by lea — June 12, 2011 @ 6:29 pm

  39. Whew! your blog intro was absolutely hot! But every situation has its own reason, a nice eye opener for all women out there.

    Comment by juries — June 17, 2011 @ 6:02 pm

  40. Excellent¡ Breathtakingly vivid words and beautifully pics.

    Comment by Daniel de Culla — June 25, 2011 @ 12:09 am

  41. Do you do sexual surrogate work? My wife and I could benefit greatly from such service, and you seem to be the ideal person for loving exploration and expansion of our sexual boundaries in a safe environment. You may contact me at the email I registered at and thank you for fighting the good fight!

    Comment by Howard Frankment — July 31, 2011 @ 8:16 pm

  42. Howard: I don't do that sort of sex work, but I'll shoot you an email.

    Comment by Furry Girl — July 31, 2011 @ 8:29 pm

  43. I'm certainly with you all the way on not being a feminist, but I don't think the 'suffragette' line works as well. It's that the suffrage movement isn't necessary today, it's outdated. Sexism isn't outdated today.

    I just call myself anti-sexist, and fuck the feminists who think the world won't be perfect until I call myself one. (Side note, sex-positive feminists consider Dworkinites to be feminist (because they think they're for equality), yet they won't consider calling conservatives who think they're for equality because they don't want burkas, to be feminist as well.)

    Comment by N — August 6, 2011 @ 5:52 pm

  44. Your personal path is quite amusing. Can't help making a swift study on your profile. Would love to check out your ideas again in 20yrs.
    Good luck in finding whatever you're looking for!

    Comment by Fabiana — August 28, 2011 @ 8:20 am

  45. Stumbled onto your blog through http://sexisnottheenemy.tumblr.com/ . You might be my favorite internet person now. Thank you for being awesome and putting words to thoughts I have often had, and for having intriguing taste in books. -- some random chick

    Comment by H. Davis — September 19, 2011 @ 8:26 pm

  46. Very cogently argued. I understand the anger that some women feel towards patriarchialism and the imbalance of the sexes. We all know that the scales are still tipped in favour of men, by men, in so many parts of the world, the West included, so the misandry is, to some extent, justified. But, as you mention, there really is an almost asexual quality to quite a lot of feminist principles. I can understand how that arises: for some men, women are nothing more than sexual objects, so by removing sex from the equation, the argument goes, you force those men to focus on the real issues. But those men's attitude to sex is *already* one of the real issues, perhaps the main issue that women have to contend with when dealing with men, specifically that men need to learn to treat women with more respect, regardless of how she chooses to dress or what she looks like. And by sweeping it under the carpet by pretending that female sexuality is irrelevant or non-existent, the patriarchialists automatically win: they have once again gotten women to modify their own behaviour for the sake of men.

    Comment by Daen de Leon — November 2, 2011 @ 12:04 pm

  47. Good points, Daen.

    Comment by Furry Girl — November 8, 2011 @ 3:02 pm

  48. Hello Furry Girl,

    You seem like a very intelligent woman, but after reading your faq I am very confused as to how you have acquired the views of feminism that you have. I have never met a single feminist who believes that women are "feeble-minded," and I know the reason I am a feminist is because even today, in this supposedly "forward" nation, I was not allowed to join the only engineering honors society on my university campus. I do not think I am crazy to want to be able to make the same connections in the engineering world as my male counterparts. Is it not a sign for alarm when women are being denied the opportunity to join organizations to further academic success?

    I started the Feminist Honor Society at my university, and in the two years we have been an organization, we have made all major-specific honor societies gender-neutral, we have raised thousands of dollars to support math and science camps for young women, and we have created a yearly need/merit-based scholarship that is awarded to an incoming female engineer.

    We don't hate men at all. I love men, I just want to ensure that I am given the same opportunities as they are.

    I am sorry that you seem to have had such a negative experience with feminism in your life, but for me, it has given me the confidence to be strong-headed and never accept judgement based solely off of my gender.

    Also, I'm sure there are arguments on both sides of the stone, but I know that for me feminism is very much about sexual empowerment for women! I am all for what you are doing, and the sexual rights of women in general. I, for one, LOVE to watch porn (sorry if I'm getting too personal), and I completely reject the traditional idea that so many cultures (including American culture) hold that women shouldn't be able to freely express themselves sexually.

    All I'm saying is, I feel like when people read the sorts of things you have written in your faq, it gives them the impression that that is how all feminists must be, and in my experience the type of woman you are describing shouldn't even be allowed to call herself a feminist, because she is pushing the rights and opportunities for women in the opposite direction.

    I just wanted to share this outlook with you. It is hard enough for me to face the stereotypes that people already have about feminists, and to see a fellow strong woman perpetuating such a stereotype really hits me in the heart. :(

    Sincerely,

    Kristina Cobb

    Comment by Kristina Cobb — December 3, 2011 @ 3:52 am

  49. "I am increasingly sickened by the direction feminism in general has taken, away from a concern for women's welfare and opportunities and towards the creation of a new standard for women to try and squash themselves into; one of sexually neutral, angry, anti-male sentiment."

    I am so sad that this is the direction you are seeing in feminism, Kat and Furry Girl! I have noticed just the opposite, but I suppose that is because I am more immersed in my own university organization and the movement in terms of online social media (blogs, websites, etc).

    When I talk about feminism, I mean the idea that women are entitled to work how they want to work, seek and pursue and education, openly express their ideas, and ESPECIALLY to be able to express themselves sexually. And this includes watching and/or creating porn—not limited to certain types of porn either. It's about being able to fully accept and acknowledge what gets you off, whether that be S&M, mainstream, or anything in between.

    Here's one of my favorite feminist blogs, if you're interested, "Hey Epiphora." She tests and reviews sex toys and porn! Very interesting, fun posts. http://www.heyepiphora.com/

    Anyhow, I guess what i'm getting at is the direction in which feminism is going really depends on how you look at it and where you stand in the movement. I hadn't noticed any of these seemingly-backward changes that you're speaking of, but that may be because I am a young college student and my point-of-view is completely different from this angle. I am surrounded by other young, forward-thinking feminists, and I suppose there may be a completely different demographic segment of feminism that I have missed entirely. And if that's so, I'm really glad I have missed them because that's not the kind of feminism I'm all about, and it definitely does not feel empowering to me!

    Comment by Kristina Cobb — December 3, 2011 @ 4:16 am

  50. Re: feminist bullshit, you might like this: http://kiriamaya.tumblr.com/post/1231852063/re-if-you-dont-identify-as-feminist-youre-bad

    Comment by N — February 13, 2012 @ 10:38 pm

  51. Awesome. I too agree with your view of feminists and feminism and so many other things you say here. It is always nice to read a dissenting opinion that is the same as your own. Good for you girl for doing want you wanted to do and being in control of your own life. The views on sexuality are pretty odd in western culture, good for you for taking on that monster. Good luck.

    Comment by littlestar — March 1, 2012 @ 5:06 pm

  52. Thanks, N and littlestar!

    Comment by Furry Girl — March 7, 2012 @ 12:40 am

  53. I definitely understand a lot of ill feelings around feminism, but you lost me at "anti-male sexism". Do you mean sexism against men? If so, you really lost me because I don't buy into suggesting systems of oppression can be 'reversed' or go both ways. Yeah, men can face barriers and discrimination but not in the structural sense of "sexism". It sounds as if you could say, "anti-white racism" which ain't cool. If I'm totally off, could you elaborate what you mean by "anti-male sexism"?

    Comment by joni — March 31, 2012 @ 1:11 pm

  54. Joni: feel free to read my blog posts to answer your questions. I don't have the time to personally re-explain all my writing to you.

    Comment by Furry Girl — March 31, 2012 @ 1:12 pm

  55. I couldnt leave without mentioning the fact that I cried whilst reading your porniography

    Its rare that I laugh so much that my eyes ejaculate but some of your responses to the later questions of feminism were fantastic, if you ever get bored twiddling your wrinkly bits on webcam I think you could be equally as successful writing comedy

    A thoroughly enjoyable and refreshing read, once the tea has stopped leaking from my nose and keyboard I will peruse the rest of your site :)

    Comment by Mike — April 5, 2012 @ 11:00 am

  56. Hey, was looking random stuff up on the internet and stumbled across your site and was drawn in. For one, thanks for what you do and how you do it. Secondly I think you are interesting, smart and cute. I guess I'm now a fan, LOL!

    Comment by Sloan — April 10, 2012 @ 3:39 pm

  57. Thanks, Mike and Sloan!

    Comment by Furry Girl — May 6, 2012 @ 8:55 pm

  58. Furry Girl, I was perusing your blog as I do, over-frequently. I've been a big ol' lurker for over a year now, but I finally made the jump into camming, which is why I awkwardly comment today! (Couldn't think of another appropriate post to leave a general you're-awesome-thank-you note.)

    Your blog, esp. the camming reviews of late has been a huge help! You are one of the most original, driven and inspiring writers (~thinkers) I've had the luck and pleasure of discovering (I actually have no idea how I first discovered your porn site and then got here. God knows what I googled!) The moment I've made a sweet little profit, your wishlist is my command.

    /end girl crush rambling

    Ashley

    Comment by Ashley — May 16, 2012 @ 7:33 am

  59. Ashley: Thank you for all the compliments. I'm glad my blog has been useful for you, and I hope things have been going well with camming.

    Comment by Furry Girl — May 16, 2012 @ 11:12 am

  60. I am with Susie in my attachment to the word feminist, and even though I live a monogamous life and find porn depressing, I think Susie is a living icon who only illuminates and pushes for a true morality in human interaction. Thanks for this piece. Good quotes.

    Comment by Carter Jonathan — June 20, 2012 @ 11:19 pm

  61. 'the feminist pendulum in the West has run its course and too often turns into pointless misandry'.

    Indeed, but it is not 'pointless', it is an expression of female supremacism; and even narrower than that, it is the supremacy of the upper-middle class private school educated female to gain even more wealth. It allows yupwardly mobile Investment Analysts on £50K plus a year to flatter themselves that they are helping to liberate their 'sisters' on the checkouts at Poundland. But call me a cynic.

    Comment by Pom — July 16, 2012 @ 1:18 pm

  62. I do not think that apart from pseudo moralists anyone should have any issues with your professions but you appear to be a really strong woman, wow, this world needs more like you. More importantly this is a drastic change in perception and that can empower many women to venture out on their independent thoughts. Good going lady.

    Comment by Jesus Bryant — August 6, 2012 @ 12:24 am

  63. Comment by Trackbacks — October 31, 2014 @ 9:43 am

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